Chapter 50

Happy Fall Everyone! I cannot believe that it’s been almost five months since I last posted. While I always intended to take a break over the summer, I did not plan for it to be this long. Lol. Lots happened, including me officially marking my 5th decade on this planet! Never in my wildest childhood dreams could I have envisioned me at 50. For those who haven’t yet crossed into your 50’s, know that this is made official when and only when you receive a welcome note and promise of a membership sign-up gift from AARP. Car trunk organizer, here we come!

AARP Adverstisement

I could not have asked for a better way to mark the occasion with a few of my favorite people on our annual excursion to the Newport Jazz Festival in Rhode Island. For those who have never been, I have one word – GO!! There are not many places where you get to see the likes of up-and-coming Grammy-winning artists, like Samara Joy, as well as bask in all your (i.e. my) nostalgic 1980’s HipHop glory throughout Rakim’s performance with Soul Rebels. Live music and all things coastal are my absolute happy places, which is why my husband and I have attended the festival every year since 2011. We even went up to Newport in 2020 even though the festival was cancelled due to the pandemic. Yes, I’m very much that person.

On my actual birthday (August Leos represent!), it poured non-stop before the sun broke through the clouds and gifted us a gorgeous day. I could not have imagined a more perfect way for the universe to remind me that the light always re-emerges after the storm.

I have been reflecting a lot about what it means to be 50 and what I want in this next decade. Without question, I want to be more intentional about how I show love to myself and others. Freedom and liberation have been on my mind a lot this year, so I am working to build my ability to flow with what life brings, while I steadfastly work to create a world where freedom and liberation are the status quo. Last, I am continuing my journey to reconnect to the inherent wisdom of my soul before my ego was conditioned to question it, judge it, and silence it. Ultimately, I am working to make my way back to me.

Speaking of love, freedom, and liberation, I want to take a moment to touch upon news that has emerged over the past week about Dr. Ibram X. Kendi’s Center for Antiracist Research at Boston University. The Cliff Notes version: the Center is accused of mismanaging funds and being massively disorganized; allegations that have come in the wake of massive layoffs of Center staff, which Kendi and Boston University leadership have stated is to support a new model for the Center. For those who want more details, I highly recommend the article put out by The Daily Free Press, which is Boston University’s student newspaper.

If you conduct a Google search, you will find numerous articles highlighting the allegations, with a handful of Center staff speaking about their specific experiences. The piece I want to highlight is the one by my dear sister friend, Dr. Yanique Redwood, who served as the Center’s Executive Director for nine months in 2022. In her op-ed, Yanique provides an incredible example of how to center the systems at play, while also not letting individuals who cause harm off the hook. In a moment when it would have been easy for her to lash out, Yanique, in what I would categorize as an act of love, grounds us in Ibram’s humanity and reminds us that we too are made up of light and shadow; we too cause pain. Last, Yanique reminds us that the work of dismantling racism (and other systems of oppression) has not ever and will not ever be the work of one individual. It has always been and will always be through the collective that we all get free.

As I think about the collective work that lies ahead, I am grateful to enter my 5th decade my healthiest and most integrated adult self – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and relationally. I am here because of a community that loves and supports me. I am also here because I have been doing and continue to do the hard and necessary internal work of looking in the mirror to understand how my own decisions and actions cause harm to myself and others and taking the necessary steps to repair said harms. This work is not always easy but it is essential, especially if I want to leave this world better than it was when I entered it back in 1973. As this next decade unfolds, I look forward to continuing to play my part to actively bend the arc towards justice with members of my beloved community.