What it Takes to Heal

Healing and social change are not, in fact, unrelated. To pry them apart is to exacerbate the issue. They are inexplicably linked, braided together, interdependent processes of transformation.” – Prentis Hemphill

When I wrote my last post, I could not have foreseen the events that have unfolded over the last three months – the Trump assassination attempt, President Biden dropping out of the Presidential race, VP Kamala Harris emerging as the presumptive Democratic candidate, genocide STILL unfolding in Gaza. Given all that is happening, it’s sometimes hard to figure out what I can do to meaningfully contribute to moving the world toward liberation. This is where Prentis Hemphill’s new book comes into play, whose title I borrowed for this blog post.

I picked up Prentis’s book – What it Takes to Heal – the day that it was released and proceeded to inhale it. If you are not familiar with Prentis’s work, I highly encourage you read their book and listen to their podcast. What I particularly appreciate about Prentis and their work, is their ability to remind us of the power that we each have to transform the world, starting with ourselves.

Of course, the work of self-transformation is not easy. However, it is the only thing we have full and direct control over. I appreciate how they name the messiness of the healing process, one which we cannot replace with or ignore by focusing on “the work.” I also appreciate their reminder that the work of healing is ultimately a practice and journey, where the purpose shouldn’t be about reaching an end goal or destination (spoiler alert: there is none), but rather, making continual progress. This is an especially helpful reminder for me as it becomes easy to get discouraged when setbacks happen, especially when life is lifeing.

For those who have been following my posts, I announced back in February my newest venture – Briyamos – which is aimed at supporting individuals, teams, and organizations to advance practices rooted in love. I had hoped to have my offerings together by now, but life was clearly on a different timeline. In any event, I am happy to announce that I am holding a series of virtual informational sessions via Zoom at the end of August for those who are interested in learning more about what I have in store. Reading Prentis's book reminded me of the importance of this work, so I have decided to prioritize it accordingly once I am back from vacation.

Before I sign-off, though, I want to share that one of the “life is lifeing” events that happened since my last post is that my mother-in-law – Teresa Sanchez – passed away on Mother’s Day. My husband and I have joked about how for someone who did not have a flare for the dramatic when she occupied the earthly realm, she saved all her drama by transitioning on that specific day.

I would love to say that the 24-hour care that the family finally received approval for in April was in place at the time of her passing. It was not. The reason for that failure is a topic for another blog post. However, when my husband shared the news of his mom’s passing with the person he’s been working with to advocate on behalf of his mother and family to get her care in place, he reflected that he could genuinely feel his sense of empathy at learning about her passing and sadness that she and the family never received the care that she was entitled to before she transitioned. We are sincerely grateful for him and everyone else who tried their best to help us in this system that is not designed to provide care.

Whenever it becomes hard for me to envision how we move forward – how we heal – I think about moments like these. Moments that reveal to me that while the system is not set up to care, there are people within it that do care. And that we’re much more connected than I sometimes imagine. It is in these very moments that healing happens.

Reflection Questions

What would change if you approached healing as a practice? What are the moments in which healing happens for you?